The Sorrow In My Feet
by Jaina Durron
Summary: Shortly after ROTJ, Han plans to go to a ball with Leia, but Leia isn't as excited.


Han had been surprised enough by himself when he'd asked Princess Leia Organa to the Rebel Alliance's 'First Annual' Winter Fete Fest. It sounded pathetic; even more so when Mon Mothma had proposed it at a High Command meeting with an all-too-cheery grin on her face. Honestly, the idea had repulsed him. But then, across the table, he'd seen Leia's reaction. The look on her face was odd; first bright, but then it was flooded with what Han could only explain as discomfort. A seemingly bittersweet sort of small smile teetered on her lips as she tried to nod enthusiastically when Mothma asked her what she thought. Han wasn't sure if she wanted to go or not, but he knew there was something there in her look. It would take some digging, but Han sensed that this was one of those times that Leia needed to talk whether she wanted to or not.

Besides, Han could now imagine taking her and how excited she'd be and how stunning she'd look. He could imagine the men waltz around in crisp, ironed suits while the few ladies swirl their way around in garish, puffy dresses. Then, Han wondered what Leia was planning on wearing.

Anyway, Han was now surprising himself as he came to Leia's door, dressed in a fine, but simple suit. He itched horribly in it, but, for Leia, he would do just about anything. Standing in his newly-bought suit and with a tall bouquet of exquisite red flowers, Han knocked on the door to Leia's quarters. He had to wait a few seconds, but Leia's response came quieter than usual and rather soft. "It's open." Han entered, but Leia wasn't there waiting for him. He frowned. Well, of course she had to be getting ready, he quickly realized and sighed, starting down the hall for the refresher in her room. "Hey, Princess! It's me! Are you almost ready? Can I come in?" But, then as he neared the 'fresher door, he heard it: crying.

Han stopped dead in his tracks. He'd never had to deal with a crying woman before. He'd never had to deal with a crying person period. And Leia! Leia was such a strong person. He would often tell her that she needed to let go like a normal person, but this! This was more than Han thought he was capable of handling. But, he knew, a good man wouldn't leave his girl in that state.

Cautiously, Han neared the refresher, but a gut feeling made him stop there.

"I-I don't think I want to go anymore," Leia said. "I know you don't want to go anyway, so that's just fine, right?"

"Leia, what's going on? Is everything alright?"

"Everything's fine!" she insisted. "Just . . . go. Didn't you hear me? You don't need to go. I don't want to go."

"What are you talking about? You haven't stopped talking about this dance all week!"

"Well, I changed my mind. It's fine, Han. Just go home."

"Well, if you don't want to go to the dance, why don't we hang out here for a while?"

"It's fine, Han. Just go."

Han wasn't taking that for a last answer. He quickly burst in to see Leia sitting on the 'fresher lid, wearing an evening gown, but the layers of translucent white fabric were a bunched-up mess around her folded-up legs and Han's sight was first drawn to her red and puffy eyes. "Hey, sweetheart."

"I told you that you could go."

"But I don't want to go. Now, what's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Okay. That has to be the worst lie I've ever heard."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Too bad."

"Han!"

"Why don't you want to go?"

"Does it matter?"

"I remember you telling me once how you used to love going to dances and balls on Alderaan. You said you loved dancing with your-" Han stopped himself, the realization hitting him as those last words rolled off his tongue. He left off the last word, but he knew and she knew even better. _Father._ Han sat on the floor and pulled her down with him. "It's bittersweet for you, isn't it?"

"Or, just bitter," Leia offered.

Han sighed. "I'm sorry you're feeling so homesick."

"I'm always going to feel homesick, Han. That's not your fault."

"Well, what do you say we have our own little dance in your living room?"

"Han, I really don't want to dance."

"Another horrible lie. You used to be better at this, Princess! No, I think you're just scared of how much it might hurt. Well, it's my hope that I'll be able to lessen the pain for you."

Leia didn't respond, but Han felt her relax. Smiling to himself, Han stood up and eased Leia to her feet. "Come on, Princess." At first, he practically had to drag her to the living room, but soon she walked on her own free will, at his side. She stood in the middle of the living room while Han played with her music player, scrolling through all the different songs she had saved. "Ah!" he said brightly. "This one sounds very . . . delicate."

"Which one did you choose?" Leia asked.

Han shrugged, returning to her to take her hands. "I just picked a random one."

The song started to play and Leia's gaze flickered away, tears brimming in her eyes. "Papa always used to promise me that we'd dance together to this song when he gave me away." Her mind registering the irony, her gaze flitted back up to Han's eyes and her cheeks went rosy. Han almost laughed.

Shifting things away from her slight embarrassment, Han started leading her through the slow and willowy steps of an easy waltz, pulling her close. "How about this, Princess? Our own Winter Fete ball."

Han could practically sense her smile as she responded. "I think this should become an annual thing flyboy."

"I like that idea. Though, the flowers get expensive."

Leia chuckled. "Don't worry. I don't need those."

"But you need me?"

"I need you and I need you to suck all the bitterness from my memories so all that's left is sweetness."

"I think I can do that. . . . I bet we're having a better time than everyone who's at that other ball."

Joking, Leia asked, "What other ball? I heard about this one and I was quite excited when you invited me."

"Oh, it's nothing much from what I hear. Our Winter Fete ball is better. It's very exclusive." Han leaned down and forward to capture Leia's lips in his. He kissed her nice and slow, enjoying all the warmth and deliciousness there. "I only bothered inviting you."

"Are you going to invite others to your second annual ball?"

"Do you want me to? Because I'd much rather not."

Leia leaned back just to look at him and her eyes twinkled in the dim lights. "Please don't," she said so softly Han almost didn't hear her. "I'm not a fan of big parties like that."

"Whatever you wish. You're the guest of honor."


End file.
